Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Your kid just got dropped by their friend group, or they're being left out, iced out, or caught in the middle of middle school friendship drama… and you have no idea what to say.

In this “Best of Ask Lisa” compilation, we’ve curated wisdom from clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour on friendship conflict to help parents understand exactly what's happening beneath the surface of tween and teen friend drama and give you the tools to help your kid through it.

Whether your child has been dumped by a friend group, is dealing with a mean "friend," or needs help exiting a friendship that isn't working, this “Best of Ask Lisa” episode is for you.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN

- The crucial difference between bullying and conflict in middle school, and why it matters for how you respond

- Why middle schoolers are so anxious about belonging, and why some kids turn to meanness

- Why excluding and rumor-spreading are common weapons in friend group drama

- Why kids get excluded from friend groups, and how to explain it to your child in a way that helps them take it less personally

- Practical, compassionate things to say and do when your tween or teen is hurting

All full episodes featured in this compilation are linked below:

185. How Should My Son Deal with Trash-Talking Friends?

166. My Kid is Being Bullied. What Should I Do?

194. How Do I Help My Daughter Get Past an Ugly Rumor?

249. When Teasing Turns Toxic, What’s a Parent to Do?

71. My Kid Was Dumped by Her Friends. How Can I Help?

84. How Do I Encourage My Tween to Drop a Bad Friendship?

156. Is There a Gentle Way to Drop a Friend?

98. My Friends' Kids Are Excluding My Kid. What Should I Do?

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



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Is your teen obsessed with their appearance? Spending hours in front of the mirror, constantly taking selfies, and seeking validation for their looks? In a world where social media turns appearance into currency, building your teen's self-esteem on a stronger foundation has never been more important.

In this episode, Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan dig into a letter from a parent whose 14-year-old daughter’s world has started to revolve around how she looks. So when does preoccupation with appearance cross the line into something worth addressing?

Dr. Lisa breaks it all down, including what to say, what not to say, and how to gently guide your teen toward a stronger, more grounded sense of self.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- The key sign that tells you appearance focus has gone from typical to concerning

- Dr. Lisa’s "lakes and tributaries" framework to build lasting teen self-esteem

- How to help your kid see their worth goes far beyond how they look

- The four Rs for setting limits around what your teen posts on social media

- What Dr. Lisa actually says when someone compliments her daughter's looks in public

Whether your child is a tween just becoming aware of her appearance or a teen deep in the selfie spiral, this episode will leave you with concrete language, helpful frameworks, and a clearer sense of how to talk to your teen about looks.

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



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You check your phone and your teen's location is off again. Are they okay? Are they hiding something? …And should you even be tracking them in the first place?

In this week's episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena dig into one of the most common standoffs happening in homes with teenagers right now: location sharing. A dad writes in about his 16-year-old son, who has started turning off his location. The kid wants privacy and autonomy. The dad just wants to sleep at night. Who’s right here?

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- What tracking your teen is really about: peace of mind or safety?

- What's really going on psychologically when teens turn off their location

- How to have an honest, non-combative conversation with your teen about location sharing

- Practical compromises that protect your sanity without damaging your relationship

We'd love to hear from you: Are you currently tracking your teen? And how are they handling it?

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



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If your teen texts "I want to unalive myself" or "kms," should you be worried?

The frightening topic of teen suicide is made worse by confusing headlines, evolving slang, and the fear of saying the wrong thing. But here's what you need to know: the research is cautiously hopeful, you have more power than you think, and asking direct questions saves lives.

In this essential episode, Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan sit down with Dr. Jonathan B. Singer, one of the country's leading experts on youth suicide prevention to hear what parents need to know right now.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- The real warning signs to watch for

- How to ask your child directly about thoughts of self-harm or suicide

- The difference between normal sadness and clinical depression

- When to seek help

- How to use AI tools like ChatGPT safely as a parent resource

This is a conversation every parent of a tween or teen needs to hear to move from fear and confusion to clarity and action.

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



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Is your teen too obsessed with their girlfriend or boyfriend? Constant texting, ditching friends, and living on their phone. Perhaps you're watching them disappear into this relationship and you don't know what to do.

If you're worried your teen's relationship is too intense and wondering how to talk to them about healthy balance without pushing them away, this episode is for you.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan tackle a question from a mom whose high school son is texting his girlfriend 24/7, barely seeing his friends anymore, and disappearing onto what Lisa calls a "relationship island." Sound familiar?

If you're wondering how to manage your teen's dating relationship without making things worse, or you're seeing your teen losing friends because of their relationship, this episode is for you.

💡 IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL DISCOVER:

- Why today's teen relationships are more consuming than the ones we had

- The real danger: Why teen isolation from friends is the biggest risk

- Where you actually have power as a parent

- The #1 mistake that backfires every time

- What to say (and NOT say) when the relationship ends and your teen is devastated

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



________________



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